Intentional Living
I’ve never liked the term intentional living.
To me, labelling myself as someone who lives intentionally feels like I’m putting myself in a box, or that I’m marking myself in a way that I’ll need to maintain a certain way of being in order to live up to some invisible expectation.
And I know this aversion to the term intentional living stems from my own biases and experiences—specifically, having a hard time being present, something I’m still struggling with in different ways, even now. And I know I’m the only one putting the expectation on myself.
But it still makes the way I’m living challenging to explain to others, because it is what I’m doing: finding ways to be intentional and present in my life. And sometimes, I’m not intentional: I spiral, or I go into myself, or I zone out playing video games for a few hours (hi stardew valley fans). I lose parts of myself in other people and struggle to get them back.
But I do try to get them back. And I do keep trying to come back to myself, to the room, to the present, even if it is hard. Even if it’s easier to zone out or disappear from myself for a while.
Pagan or witch (or whatever)
One thing that’s helped me be more present is living in alignment with the things that bring me joy and help me centre. No surprise that some of those things are reading, writing, knitting, and gardening, but one I haven’t really shared is following (or trying my best to follow) a pagan way of living.
For those of you who know me in real life, you know I’ve been all sorts of witchy since I was young. I was the kid who made potions out of mud and flowers, who collected pretty rocks and thought that, if the clouds were shaped a certain way, the sky was trying to send me a message. I talked to birds and trees; I sat in the hollow under the juniper bushes in our front yard and listened to the wind.
As an adult, part of being intentional is coming back to this way of being. I pushed it down in myself as a teenager—when I was a teen, it was so supremely uncool to be different in any way, and I didn’t think others would like me for who I was.
Only in the past few years have I found simple ways of bringing this back: tracking moon cycles and journaling about what I’m feeling; spending quiet time in nature; thinking about my intentions for life and how I want to live, and then finding ways to bring these into action. They’re not huge things—and I don’t devote as much time as I’d like to them—but I do find they help bring me back to the world.
Wheel of the year
Up until about a year ago, the way I celebrated the wheel of the year was somewhat nonexistent. I’d remember a sabat was coming up, and I’d mark it on my calendar, and then I’d let it slip by; either I was working, or catching up on school work, or too busy with something else to devote any time to it beyond remembering “right, that’s happening today. Better look at the moon or bake some bread.”
And there’s nothing necessarily wrong with this—we’re all busy, it’s nothing new—but it’s not how I want to celebrate.
This year, I’m celebrating Mabon with friends: I’m cleaning my house and preparing it for the coming season, then I’m having a few people over to eat stew and baked apples, do a meditation, and talk about how this year has gone for us so far.
This is something I’ve been looking forward to immensely: gathering with friends and noting the changing seasons; harvesting the last of the vegetables from the backyard and sharing them with people I love.
No wrong way to be
There are parts of me that think I should be doing something bigger and more elaborate, but here’s the thing: I don’t think there’s a wrong way to celebrate the wheel of the year, and I don’t think there’s a wrong way to be witchy, or pagan, or whatever you want to call yourself. There’s not a wrong way to be intentional; there’s not a wrong way to be whatever you are or do whatever you want to do. If it feels right to you, then it’s right.
Anyway, all this to say: I’m glad I’m finally coming back into myself, and I’m excited to explore and share these parts of my life with you all (and to learn how you celebrate the change of seasons and anything else).
How are you celebrating the transition into fall this year?
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